MOM Job Description...

A friend sent me this funny MOM Job Description below.


POSITION :Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma, Momme

JOB DESCRIPTION:Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work inan often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellentcommunication and organizational skills and be willing to work variablehours, whichwill include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitivecamping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far awaycities.Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties alsorequired.

RESPONSIBILITIES :The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at leasttemporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tonguerepeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule andbe able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, thistime, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Mustbe willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadgetrepair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers! Must screenphone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensableone minute,and embarrassed the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testingof a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, completea ccountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and all janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position foryears, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salaryscheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

that's hilarious and SO TRUE!