{ the FUNK }

An adult is one who has lost the grace, the freshness, the innocence of the child,
who is no longer capable of feeling pure joy, who makes everything complicated,
who spreads suffering everywhere, who is afraid of being happy, and who,
because it is easier to bear, has gone back to sleep. The wise man is a happy child.
-Arnaud Desjardins

I've been in a funk lately...A summer is ending; bus-stop blues; I feel OLD; I don't feel super inspired lately, twilight-induced FUNK. Not sure what to make of it other than it is not ME. I am emotional, down, tired, distracted, uninspired, etc...all things that have me reeling on a daily basis and have my husband looking at me wondering where his happy wife has gone?

I am working on choosing self-care over all other things I must be doing this week. I think the key to snapping out of this FUNK is mindful self-care... not "lazy sitting on the couch watching bad TV," or watching "Twilight" again, self-care. But mindful, deeper, truer self-care and connections with the people around me, but mostly with my husband, my partner, my best friend. I'm going to go climb a mountain with him. I'm going to go away for a weekend with him (without the kids). I am going to pick up a book that is not about vampires. I am going to get myself back to yoga class. I am going to continue to cleanse and purge the space around ME which helps me feel calmer & lighter. I am going to remember to breathe. I am going to continue to seek {acres of grace}. I might even go back to church. I'm going to get back on a better routine for ME & my family, working to reduce the chaos that tends to creep back into our lives. I am going to re-find that excitement that we had when we first meet. I am going to blast music in our house everyday and have a dance party. I am going to get ME back.

So, I'm going to take a brief hiatus from the blog to work on RE-connecting with ME and those around ME. I'm pushing my re-set button and I'm going to get my mojo back. Be back soon my friends. xoxo ~

In the meantime I leave you with this passage from Sailing Home by Norman Fischer.

Few of us are willing to actually be ourselves. Mostly, we deny, berate, or ignore ourselves, preferring self-deception, judgementalism, or just plain oblivion. Being ourselves involves awareness and acceptance of our craftiness and our imperfection-and this awareness tames us, so that we can understand and appreciate our quirks and the quirks of others. It gives a broader, deeper perspective.

Perfection is not our spiritual goal. We do not aspire to be Nobody. We are and need to be Somebody, wily and crafty enough to interact with others, but avoiding the risk of puffing ourselves up and becoming swollen and blind with self-concern. But to be Somebody in a balanced way, without overdoing it, we need to appreciate the experience of being Nobody from time to time.

To be Nobody is not to enter some fantastic condition of ego-lessness. It is simply to be willing and able, when it is time, to drop the self, to let Somebody go and surrender to circumstances. We do this as a discipline when we give ourselves over in meditation or in prayer. We do it too, in those rare but always absorbing moments of abandonment that can come in art or work or love. We might need to do it at any moment of living- to let go on a moment's notice of what we think we are and what we think we want, and be willing to turn around on a dime, trusting what comes instead of evaluating and resisting it. To be Nobody is to float on the ocean of stories with faith, and without thrashing around too much, willing to wait for the proper current to take us where we need to go.

{ fit ME }

The Fit ME notepad is in the September issue of Fitness Magazine (pg. 100) on newstands now!

{ keeping it real }

Here's what Day 2 looked like for Kindergarten...

{ and she's off to school }

and mom is crying and missing her already....

{ feed ME }

This is our eat out of the freezer & pantry WEEK...

Monday - Blackened salmon, brown rice, edamame beans (make extra brown rice for tomorrow's dinner & henry) - we have the salmon & edamame in the freezer and the rice in the pantry
Tuesday - Nie Nie's Tofu Stir Fry (just need to get snow peas & bok choy)
Wednesday - Veggie Fajitas (have everything) - make extra black beans for Friday's dinner
Thursday - Back to school Feast - Samme chose PANCAKES. yes, that is what she asked for. :) (have everything)
Friday - Black Bean Enchilada's (have black beans, tortillas, tomatoes, and a can of enchilada sauce).
Saturday - Whole Wheat Pasta & Sauce made from tomatoes & basil from garden (have everything we need for this)
Sunday - Grilled cheese & tomato sandwiches with Red Lentil Soup (have everything we need for this)

All I need to get at the store this week is:
Milk
Eggs
Snow Peas
Bok Choy
Sliced almonds (to make homemade granola)
....and for school lunches:
Turkey & Cheese
Peaches
Baby Carrots
Zucchini (to make no-sugar whole wheat zucchini muffins)

{ organize ME - the back to school edition }

How are school mornings in your home? Crazed and chaotic, or calm and cheerful? Plan ahead to send your {rested} schoolchildren out the door in a happy mood with a healthy breakfast.

I've been talking to my friends recently about how we have been trying to get our kids on a {school-time} bedtime & wakeup routine. This summer Sam's sleep time has been 9:30 or later until 7:30+am. But now she needs to be at school at 7:40AM and rested...so we've been gradually putting her into bed earlier & earlier and waking her earlier. The first day of school is no time for a drastic adjustment of household sleep schedules. Instead, ease children back into a school year routine gradually. During the last two weeks of summer, re-introduce a school year bedtime. Begin waking late sleepers earlier and earlier, closer to the hour they'll need to rise when school begins.

Here are some things I do to help tame the morning madness:

Each evening, I think ahead to the following morning. I set the breakfast table and get a healthy school lunch & snack packed. I set Sam's alarm, we pick out an outfit together and lay it out. I put school stuff and after-school gear in a bag by the front door.

Cut time in the kitchen: create a menu plan and never again wonder "What's for lunch or dinner?"

We set up 2 schoolwork stations (one in the kitchen and one on her desk in my office with extra supplies).

Limit after-school activities....kids need time to be at home and have free play and downtime.

Plan a special back to school dinner or breakfast (or both) and spend time talking about the new school year and what your expectations are {kindness to others, respecting & listening to the teachers, etc.}

What do you do to make the school morning routines go smoothly at your house?

{ spending hiatus - month 4: week 3 - the grateful edition }

Trying to find that balance between enjoying life, sharing with the community, getting back into a routine and meeting our financial goals by year-end is what I am thinking about this week....

One of my favorite lines in my favorite book (other than the Twilight books that is), Eat Pray Love, is at the end of Part Two when, after spending four months at an Ashram in India, Elizabeth shares two poems that she's written - the first at the beginning of her stay at the ashram, when she was struggling, and the second one written her last day there after she had found peace and happiness within herself. She writes, "In the the space between the two poems, I have found acres of grace." Acres of grace. I love that.

Last week we had to cancel our last event of the race season due to a super low turnout...We began to get pretty stressed about this as we've never had to do this before but we acknowledged that it was partially out of our control due to the current economic situation. And then we reminded ourselves how lucky we are...we have 3 businesses that are making money, that allow us to work from home with the kids and we have a warm and loving home over our heads.

We reminded ourselves of all of the stories of true suffering in our community, in our country, in our world. I do not wish to diminish or ignore problems of this magnitude. Problems like this remind me that in the midst of trying to spend more wisely, meet out grocery budget with wholesome, organic food and achieve certain financial goals, I don’t want to lose sight of things that are even more important...Our health, a roof over our heads and the fact that we have each other. To this end I am grateful for our abundance and will continue to share it with our community. {Sam & I are going to the food bank this week with a truck full of donations and we dropped off additional items (clothes, books & toys) at the woman's shelter and local school. While she is starting to get the "lessons" on saving, its equally important to reiterate the lessons on "giving and sharing". }

I find myself thinking in terms of acres of gratitude this week...I have so much to be grateful for - happy, healthy children; a loving, kind husband; wonderful parents who I get to see often; Sam's contagious giggle; Henry learning to blow kisses, Sam and Henry's birthparents who chose us; my grandparents who are still alive and able to get to know my children; wonderful friends who are supportive and loving; my health and being cancer free for 8 years; our warm & welcoming home; the men & woman working to protect us everyday against the evil in the world; and the affection of our dirty, but adorable golden retriever.

And because this IS a brain blog....Ellen Weber points out some ways gratitude transforms the human brain in Two Words Can Transform a Workplace. She writes: "Interestingly, the art and science of gratitude grows easier the more you practice it."

Oh, and there was no unnecessary spending this week (other than kickboxing classes which is now considered a necessity!) - in fact we were gifted with a huge bag of peaches from a dear friend and a huge box of hand me down clothes for Henry. {We are grateful - Thank you Liv.}

What are you grateful for, even in times of less?

{ summer fun }

We are still trying to cram as much summer fun + sun as we can into this last week before Sam starts Kindergarten...but I'm not going to lie, I'm tired. ;-) Seriously though, on days I think oh my lord, when does school start, I remind myself that this sweet little girl is growing up and I want her to have a wonderful summer....

So, here is what is still left on our summer fun to-do list:

Grandma's Pool + Picnic (a few more times)
Outdoor Movie Night
Playdate with new friend from new school
Garage Sale
Kid Summer Pics by one of my friends who is a photographer
Camp in the backyard + make smores
Back to School Feast ala Nie Nie
First Day of School Fairy loot w/ new backpack

Here are some of the things we've done:
Waterworld
3 River Trips
2 Moab, UT trips
Made our own puppet show at Library
Family movie nights
Rode Bikes
Ran through a park fountain with our clothes on
Made homemade popsicles every week
Read a chapter book together
Hosted an outdoor Fairy Tea Party with some of her girl friends
Attended an outdoor family concert
Created a huge blanket fort
Planted & tended to our vegetable garden
Planted fruit trees
Climbed on the climbing wall
Swam in the pool...and
Swam in the pond...a lot

What's still left on your summer fun to-do list?

{ be back soon }

Taking a little break {this past weekend & week} to head to Moab to enjoy a little family time before the little miss starts school. Have a great week!

{ spending hiatus - month 4: week 2 - the cash envelope system }

This week I'm back on track with the spending hiatus and since I don't have anything to confess, I thought I'd answer some questions I've received about the cash spending system I've been using. I've written before about using the cash envelope system...I did buy the Dave Ramsey wallet thing specifically designed for this purpose and it was the ugliest wallet I had ever laid eyes on so I returned it and made my own envelopes with some I had for about .29 cents and stuck them in my uber-cute Sherpani Wallet. There are also some homemade cash envelope options here and here.

Anyway, I've gotten lots of questions about my system... I am not an expert and you will note I still have credit cards. But, I can tell you that it has helped me plan out our purchases and stick to a budget way better than before. I simply decide what our budget for groceries, family excursions, household supplies, garden items, etc. is for a given month (varies due to our travel & work plans) and withdraw that money from the bank and allocate it into the appropriate envelopes. This month we are home for the most part but do have one trip to Moab planned, some company coming into town and some back to school expenses so I have the following cash envelopes:

Week 1 Food
Week 2 Food
Week 3 Food
Week 4 Food
Home & Garden Items (dog food, garden supplies, laundry detergent, etc.)
Family Fun (company in town - hot springs, drinks with girlfriend, Moab Trip, outdoor movie night & mini golf, date night)
Back to school expenses (school supplies, some new outfits & sneakers for sam & back to school lunch out with her)
Babysitters (I have lined out a babysitter for date night)

{ additional notes: Then I put the receipts back into the envelopes to enter online at a later date. I also sometimes take money from one envelope and swap it around which sort of feels like cheating but i figure its okay as long as i'm not withdrawing more cash or charging to a credit card. }

Simple Mom has written some great articles on this subject that you can read here.

And because this is a brain blog, here is a great article entitled Your Brain on Shopping.

Do any of you do the cash envelope thing? How does it work for you?


Here's another pic of the Sherpani Wallet that I have (it fits passports too!)

{ feed ME }

See how Josyln of Simple Lovely and Raising Foodies uses her FeedME weekly meal planner here (pictured above).

And here's a great article on how to save money on groceries.

{ open }

This weekend, Henry's birth mom and family visited us. It was the first visit in over 6 months and the first time they saw where we live, where we are raising the little boy they too love dearly. Many magical, fun and moving days were had. We have a very open adoption with both of our childrens birth families. We feel that the more people that love a child, the better. And it does take a community to raise children, right? We also feel so fortunate that they chose us to raise the children they carried, that the very least we can do to show our gratitude is to have them be part of their lives.

ps. More fun was had in the pond. Hands down the best money we've ever spent.



ps. The new cute dress I bought Sam last week. Totally worth it as she hasn't taken it off.

{ this made ME smile }

{ a new day }

This is what I love about Mondays... a new day...to start fresh...What are you going to do today? Today we are going to Samme's Kindergarten Registration...so today I'm sad & excited!

Tags from etsy here.

{ spending hiatus - month 4: week 1 - the falling off the wagon edition }

I was doing SO good... And I stayed out of Anthropologie last week. And I was feeling pretty darn proud of myself. And then, I fell off the wagon. Now, some of this stuff was planned and we had money set aside for it (eg. the pond liner)...but thick plastic is darn expensive and the associated costs (ditch digger, more dirt, manual labor, etc.) caught me a bit off guard...oh and then there were the new trees and the flowers for around the pond...and the metal wind sculpture for the garden...and the new temple bell windchime...and the cute new dress for sam and the new lunchbox for kindergarten... yikes. But, now that this huge landscaping project is done, I'm done. Spending that is. I'm glad I'm not Catholic. This confession stuff isn't fun.

{ feed ME }

I've got a guest post today on the Daily Worth blog and e-newsletter on how to save time & money with meal planning. For those of you that haven't heard of Daily Worth it is a free daily personal finance email for women. They deliver practical tips, empowering ideas and the occasional kick in the pants. Their tips cover saving, spending, earning, investing, taxes, business, entrepreneurship, and more. To purchase the Feed ME weekly meal planner click here or visit a Container Store near you!
Subscribe now at Daily Worth.

{ hoME again, hoME again }

Sorry for the lack of posting...It's been a good week here, despite some bumps in the road. After weeks of going-going-going, we've been slowly resettling back in and slowing back down and trying to catch up with mundane tasks (weeding, accounting, recycling, etc.)

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy short seasons of excitement and adventure, but I always love coming back to our quiet, peaceful home and routine. We've been diving into some yard projects and enjoyed a morning at the farmers market. This week, I'm itching to take back up my work in the garden, do more experimenting in the kitchen, spend more time playing and reading with the kids, and treasuring every last moment of summer with my sweet little girl who is starting kindergarten in a few weeks... :(

{ forgiveness }

I think we all carry around a lot of weight on our shoulders - especially related to guilt, anger, grudges and resentment...Just in the past few months I've had several conversations & issues with people that center on resentment, anger, jealousy and untruths and I myself seem to be holding onto a few grudges I need to let go of. I've also recently been coming across the topic of forgiveness and letting go on some blogs I love. I recently took an amazing yoga class and the teacher read this meditation and thought I'd share it with all of you in case you, or someone you know is in need...

This meditation from Jack Kornfield (found in this book), has helped me so much lately...enjoy.

I hope it helps you too....

Let yourself sit comfortably, allowing your eyes to close and your breath to be natural and easy. Let your body and mind relax. Breathing gently into the area of your heart, let yourself feel all the barriers you have erected and the emotions you have carried because you have not forgiven–not forgiven yourself, not forgiven others. Let yourself feel the pain of keeping your heart closed. Breathing softly, begin reciting the following words, letting the images and feelings that come up grow deeper as you repeat them.

There are many ways that I have hurt and harmed others, have betrayed or abandoned them, caused them suffering, knowingly or unknowingly, out of my pain, fear, anger, and confusion.

I ask for your forgiveness. I ask for your forgiveness.

Just as I have caused suffering to others, there are many way that I have hurt and harmed myself. I have betrayed or abandoned myself many times in thought, word, or deed, knowingly or unknowingly.

For the ways I have hurt myself through action or inaction, out of fear, pain, and confusion, I now extend a full and heartfelt forgiveness.

I forgive myself. I forgive myself.

There are many ways I have been harmed by others, abused or abandoned, knowingly or unknowingly, in thought, word, or deed.

I remember the many ways others have hurt, wounded or harmed me, out of fear, pain, confusion, and anger. I have carried this pain in my heart long enough. To the extent that I am ready, I offer you forgiveness.

To those who have caused me harm, I offer my forgiveness, I forgive you.

Added on August 4th - The world is clearing sending me a signal as I just read this great post on Crazy Sexy Life about Forgiveness, entitled {Why is it so damn hard?}